The Shouting Begins… 

Before the chorus of outrage starts, let’s establish a few things: I am a feminist. I believe in equality. But I also don’t subscribe to the idea that equality means locking men up in a metaphorical dungeon and throwing away the key. Nor do I think men should be cancelled simply for having an opinion, provided that opinion is expressed respectfully and doesn’t seek to diminish others. 

Recently, radio host Marty Sheargold and MMM “mutually parted ways” due to some, let’s say, ‘old-world thinking.’ The reality is that the world has moved on. The era of dismissing women, minorities, or any marginalised group through outdated narratives is, thankfully, behind us. It is no longer acceptable to imply that someone only received a position on a board because they were a woman, as though merit had nothing to do with it. Those conversations reek of a past that we’ve actively worked to dismantle. 

Woke is not a dirty word 

At the recent SAG Awards, Jane Fonda stated that empathy is neither weak nor woke, adding that ‘woke’ simply means giving a damn about others. I subscribe to that notion wholeheartedly. But somehow, in the cultural backlash to progress, ‘woke’ has been weaponised, becoming synonymous with censorship or extremism. 

This is where the discussion around International Men’s Day becomes relevant. Because in today’s climate, I know a whole lot of good men – men who are supportive, inclusive, and kind – who feel as though they are being disenfranchised. These are men who didn’t create the systems of oppression, but they are often lumped into broad, accusatory narratives simply because they are white, middle-aged, and male. 

Does that mean we should stop talking about inequality? Absolutely not. But it does mean we need to ensure that conversations around equality are, in fact, equal. If feminism is about gender equality (which it is), then surely that means acknowledging where men are struggling too. And that brings us back to the fundamental question: 

What does equality actually mean?

Equality doesn’t mean flipping the scales so that one group is on top while another is pushed down. It means balance. It means ensuring everyone has a fair shot – regardless of gender, race, or background. It means celebrating women’s achievements while also acknowledging that men, too, face pressures and challenges, particularly in an era where traditional masculinity is being redefined. 

The push for gender equity has, rightfully, put women at the centre of conversations for many decades. And there is still work to be done. Women remain underrepresented in leadership, continue to face gender pay gaps, and still shoulder a disproportionate amount of unpaid domestic labour. But acknowledging these realities should not mean invalidating the struggles men face.

The silent struggles of men 

Men are grappling with their own set of issues – some new, some long-standing. Mental health statistics paint a bleak picture, with men making up three-quarters of suicide rates in Australia. The pressure to be providers, protectors, and stoic figures of resilience is still deeply ingrained. Many men struggle with emotional expression, having been socialised to suppress vulnerability. 

If we are serious about equality, we should be serious about addressing these issues too. We should be able to hold two thoughts at the same time: that women still need systemic change to level the playing field, and that men, too, need support, particularly when it comes to mental health and shifting societal expectations. 

Communication is key 

At Spinifex, we believe in the power of communication to drive change. But effective communication isn’t just about being loud – it’s about listening. It’s about engaging in meaningful, nuanced conversations where different perspectives are valued, not shut down. 

Equality doesn’t mean talking at people; it means talking with them. It means bonding and bridging—making space for others while also ensuring that no one is left behind in the process. If feminism is to be truly inclusive, then it must be open to hearing the concerns of men as well, not dismissing them outright. 

The backlash to progress often stems from a fear of loss – of power, identity, or relevance. But the best way forward isn’t through exclusion; it’s through inclusion. We don’t need to tear down men to build up women, nor do we need to diminish women’s struggles to acknowledge the challenges men face. 

A Call for Balance 

So, what if we approached every day as an opportunity to champion equality? What if we made space for International Men’s Day without feeling threatened by it? What if we could have conversations where empathy, not outrage, was the driving force? 

Maybe then, we’d realise that equality isn’t about competing victimhood. It’s about shared humanity. It’s about ensuring that no one – man or woman – feels unseen, unheard, or unvalued. 

That’s the kind of equality worth striving for.